12.17.2009

I could have been a brain surgeon.

it just. does. not. work! How can this socio-economic system of free market capitalism be hailed as the best possible course for humanity to run when no one can (accurately or otherwise) describe how it works. The proof we are supplied with: "It hasn't failed thus far, therefor it must be the best possible system". How is this accepted? HOW?!

I find myself having a crisis of identity. Part 1 is so cynical and nihilistic, and believes nothing has meaning, and there is no point to accepting the current system of government and economy. Part 2 is struggling to find a way to succeed within the current system. I've been trying to find a compromise, and so far I haven't had any success at all. I've read books, I've listened to websites, and I've come to my own conclusions. Still, I find myself terminally unhappy with my current life path.

I need to find a way to become the activist and still somehow succeed in some semblance of a life. Could it be possible that the traditional measure of success no longer applies? is it up to me to forge ahead and create my own brand of success?

i completely devalue wealth and markers of social power. yet i get caught up in it again and again.

i need a strategy. I need a clear plan.

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