well...

i'm going to montreal in july.

Leash - The Weakerthans

Had one of those days
When you wanna try heroin,
Drunk driving,
Some form of soft suicide
Sitting in silence and
Staring at ceilings
Or peeling the paint off
Of things to confide

Maybe someday
The lies we've led around
Will crawl under our beds
And sleep off the years

Teach me to wiggle
My ears like that,
Show me the scar
That you got when you
Fell off your bike
Ask me the questions
You never want answers to
We can re-write them
However we like

Maybe someday
The lies we've led around
Will crawl under our beds
And sleep off the years

Stop the hardwood floor's lopsided grin
Leave the dirt and dead flowers
In a brown coffee tin
Let your hand melt a hole in the frost
Peer out under a sky that looks
Just like a shirt I lost.

Someday
The lies we've led around
Will crawl under our beds
And sleep off the years

Stage 2: By Land

what was stage 1 again? oh right, wandering and aimlessly complaining. well that stage is over now.
time to get on with living.

I have a real job now. an actual job in my chosen field, and a guaranteed apprenticeship, so I'm ecstatic.

finally.

but now it seems like everything is taking forever.. I kept saying to myself "it'll all get better as soon as i get a real job", but i guess what i didn't realize is that it would take a while to get all better.

i mean, things are definitely better. i'm happier than i have been in a long time. im more at peace... though i knew that once i was "at peace" i couldnt write the way i used to.. that was completely a by-product of some wretched teen angst.

but yeah..

things are looking up.

I have a hard time believing that its only Monday. Feels like the week has been dragging on, and it hasn't even begun yet. I have random aches and pains in my joints, and tingling sensations in my arms and legs, as if they're falling asleep, and its disturbing me. I really think something is wrong with me.

i don't feel attractive anymore.